Stairway To Heaven
by iloverockroll
Summary: Rumors. Created by Society. Society. Killed the Teenager. Both Mentally and Physically. A girls innocence is her most valuable possession. And once its gone, its gone, and theres not getting it back. I know, summary sucks . READ.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi guys (: This is my first Outsiders fanfic ! Enjoy (:**

Chapter 1:

Wouldn't it be amazing if we had a white Christmas this year? Too bad it never snows in Tulsa; I've actually never seen snow before, only in movies. Dally says it's nothing special, if anything it just slows you down when you're running from the fuzz. Typical Dallas Winston comment. Whatever. It's on my bucket list to have at least one white Christmas, but the more the merrier right?

The town almost looks deserted. It's weird, as a kid there were dozens of kids playing in the streets without a care in the world. I was one of those kids. All of us were, even Darry. But now he's too busy busting his back trying to make ends meet since mom and dad died two years ago.

"Nicholas, you coming or what?" Dally honked the car horn impatiently.

"It's Nikki." I hopped shotgun.

"No it's not." He took off before I even had time to shut the car door.

I rolled my eyes; I hated his nickname for me.

_*Flashback*  
July 1963_

"_Fine I don't want to play your stupid game anyways!" I stomped down the street. _

_God, Steve can be so immature. Just because I'm a girl doesn't mean I can't play football. Darry always lets me play, but he's too busy with his new girlfriend to play with us anymore. I was going to walk back home but I debated against it. Angela's probably around somewhere. _

_Angela's been my best friend ever since 1__st__ grade when Curly asked me to marry him. Yeah, I know. I guess beating him in a burping contest could really get a second graders nads pumping. It was funny actually, he gave me a ring pop as a ring, which was half eaten by the way, and I stuck it in his hair. Momma always told me that when a woman gets purposed to, it's special, and that was not special. Little did I know back then that I wasn't even legal to get married, but I thought it was the real deal. Angela couldn't stop laughing and gave me a high five and we've been best friends ever since. _

_I stopped in front of a familiar house, that's almost like my second home. But I soon regretted it when I saw Tim and a bunch of his friends hanging out in the front yard. They always intimidated me. I don't even know why, it's not like I talk to them, there just scary looking, maybe it's because there in high school and I'm only in 8__th__ grade. _

_There were also a few girls hanging out too who I didn't recognize. You can tell they were from our side of town, just by what they were wearing. Momma would, no scratch that, my dad would have a cow if I ever walked out of the house dressed like that. I wouldn't even want to though, too revealing. I had to admit though, I admired them. The way they had their chins up, total confidence. Confidence was always the one thing I lacked, Angela had tons of it, that's how she got all the boys, and Tim hated every bit of it, you know like any other older protective brother would. I told myself that next year, in high school, I'm going to have all the confidence in the world. _

"_Curtis, Angel's not home!" Tim hollered from the porch, with some blonde sitting on his lap. _

_Next to him was a brown headed boy who I didn't recognize. Maybe, no, I would have recognized those beautiful icy blue eyes from a mile away. But I didn't. _

_He was staring at me; he didn't even try to hide it. I on the other hand tried to not make it so obvious. _

_I just turned my back toward the house and walked in the direction I came from. I guess I have no choice but to go home. _

_I heard someone shouting behind me but I didn't bother to turn around, they probably weren't even talking to me anyways. _

"_What are you deaf?"_

_Or maybe they were. _

_He reminded me of a Greek God. I don't know what; there was just something about him. Maybe it was his eyes. His piercing ice blue eyes. _

_I didn't answer him. Again, I don't have the most confidence in the world. I get nervous around guys, well besides the gang. _

"_You gotta name?" he stepped in front of me, walking backwards, making sure I didn't ignore him this time. _

"_Nikki," I stated plain and simple._

"_Aint that a guy's name or something?" he smirked. Maybe it was his smile that reminded me of a Greek God. _

_I rolled my eyes, "Its short for Nicole."_

"_It's short for Nicholas," he stated like I was stupid. _

"_I think I know what my own name is," I tried to walk past him. _

"_You obviously don't, Nicholas."_

_I rolled my eyes, why did he follow me anyways?_

"_Well what's your name, Mr. Know-it-all?" _

"_Actually, it's Mr. Dallas Know-it-all Winston, but good try though."_

"_Well Mr. Dallas Know-it-all Winston, you must me new here, because I, Miss Nikki Curtis am Queen of Tulsa, and I don't recognize you, and I know everyone, being the Queen and all," I tried to keep a straight face and sound sophisticated, joking around of course. _

"_I might be new here, but I'm pretty sure there's no Queen of Tulsa, and if there was one, her name would be Nicholas." He smirked again. _

"_Where yah heading?" I noticed that he had a New York accent. _

"_Home. Um, not to sound rude or anything but why are you following me? Don't you wanna be with you friends?"_

"_There not my friends, I just went for the free booze." _

_I nodded and we continued to walk in silence. I still don't understand why he's following me, but I'm not going to question it again. _

_Everyone was outside eating some hot dogs and burgers that dad was grilling on the grill. The smell made my mouth water. _

"_Well I gotta go-" I started to say. _

"_There you are Nikki, I told you to stay with your brothers. Oh hello, who's your friend?" My mother stuck her hand out greeting Dallas. _

"_Oh uh that's Dallas he's not my –" I was cut off again. _

"_Well Dallas, do you mind staying for dinner? There's plenty of hotdogs and burgers." She offered. My mom loved feeding the whole neighborhood. If four kids wasn't already enough, but that's my momma for you. _

_What about his parents? Wouldn't they be worried that their son is eating at some stranger's house?_

_He nodded his head and went straight toward the grill by the guys. He's obviously not shy, I noted. _

_Him and the gang hit it off great, especially Johnny. Johnny usually doesn't talk around new people, but he was talking like he knew Dallas his whole life. _

"_Well I'm gonna hit the road," he sat up from the grass after everyone left, his jeans had grass stains all over them from wrestling earlier._

"_Yup," I opened the screen door about to walk inside when I heard his voice. _

"_Nicholas." He finished and turned down the street. _

_He smiled, and I shook my head, that's gonna get annoying _

_*End of Flashback*_

"What's the rush?" I cursed Buck's car for not having any seatbelts, Dally drives like a chicken without a head, a maniac.

"No rush," he smirked, "Just having fun, loosen up Nick." He shined his famous smirk.

"Well I'm not exactly in a rush to get to school," I slumped back in the seat, just another day to get brainwashed by teachers, and get taunted by socs. No thanks.

"Who said I was dropping you off at school?"

"Dal!" As much as I hate the hellhole, Darry will kick my ass if I skip. And Dallas knows damn well he's cruisin' for a bruisin too if Superman found out I skipped with him.

"No worries, I got better things to do," he continued, "Or people I should say."

I rolled my eyes. PIG.

He pulls up to the school but I just sit there, not in any hurry to get out.

"Party at Buck's tonight, you in?"

"I don't know, it's a school night and Darry –"

"Fuck Darry." He cut me off, "You need a break from all of this." He motions around us.

The warning bell rang and I got out of the car ignoring the question but turned around right before he drove off, "I'll think about it," I covered my eyes from the sun.

* * *

Buck's was already kicking in full swing by the time I got there. I had to wait til' Pony, Soda, and Darry fell asleep, which didn't take long. I decided that Dally was right. I needed a break from all of _this. _

The bar was filled with smoke and wreaked of alcohol and a mixture of I don't even want to know. I've only been to Buck's twice before this. Once with Angela and once for a New Year's Eve party which of course, Darry was with me. He doesn't know about the other time with Angela though.

"Aye Nicholas you made it!" Dal slurred.

I couldn't help but notice that he had two different broads around both his arms.

I can't believe I actually decided to come here, it's not like I know anyone. There just a bunch of horny creeps, hoping to get laid.

"Someone's down in the dumps," he let go of the two girls hit turned to the bartender, "Two beers."

He handed me open, "Call it a first timers gift," he shouts over the loud, but lousy Tom Hanks records.

"It's not my first beer Dal," I lied, yes it was. Both times I came here I got soda. Yeah, I know I might as well have loser written on my forehead.

I think it was pretty obvious that it was my first time drinking considering I got drunk off that one beer. I didn't know where Dallas was, probably having some "fun". I was just kind of dancing with anyone I saw and sipped my beer. I have to admit, I don't understand what the hype is about over this shit, I mean it tastes disgusting. But I'm having fun, so fuck it, why not.

"Curtis, didn't know this was your scene," I heard a similar voice behind me.

"Hello Tim," I giggled.

"Are you drunk?"

"Never!" I giggled again. I think this beer makes giggling contagious or something, "But I want to have some fun!"

"Look around you babe, this is about as fun as it's going to get," he points around the room.

"There's also upstairs," I bite my lip innocently. That's a trick I picked up from Angela. She told me guys are a sucker for lip biters. I hope that's what she meant and not actually biting the guys lip. Actually, I've seen her do both. Whatever, it was worth a shot.

He smirked, "I'm down to do anything you're willing to do babe.

* * *

"Nicholas, thought you bailed." He came stumbling down the stairs.

"Nah, get any girls?"

"Three," he shrugged his shoulders but obviously proud.

"You're such as whore!" I laughed.

He sat in the stool next to me. I don't know if this is weird to think about but I was thinking about the girls he slept with tonight. Did they think they were special? That Dallas Winston cared about them? Do they know that there were other girls before / after them. I don't know why I was thinking about that. I guess after Tim I just kind of, I don't even know how to explain it. Before Tim, the farthest I've ever gone with a guy is frenching. Nothing major. But tonight. I felt like a woman, I think. I'm not sure if it counts since we didn't go all the way, but still, I felt different.

And I'm not exactly sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing.

**AN: i know this chapters not interesting but its just an introductioon. ^_^ But how is it? Lollll Anyways, Favs, Follows, & Reviews are welcome and highly appreciated ! (: So is constuctive criticism! :P**


	2. Chapter 2

**Enjoy ! (:  
Disclaimer: I don't own The Outsiders, though I wish I owned Dally cause Matt Dillon was just so damn hott ;D lol **

Chapter 2:

I haven't had a dream in over a year, not since the _incident _last year. With Pony's screaming I guess I was just mentally traumatized and I didn't even know it. But last night in my sleep, my mind just drifted into a little life of its own. It's actually kind of scary how real it felt. It was weird though, it was the most unrealistic thing ever, yet it felt like it was real life.

The sunlight shining through the curtains nearly blinded me, even with my eye lids shut, and it surely wasn't helping my killer headache either.

I was waiting for Ponyboy to come running in and jump on my bed, or Sodapop asking where his work shirt is, or even Darry yelling at me that my breakfast was going to get cold and I'll be late for school if I didn't get up this instant, but none of that happened.

_Maybe there not up yet, maybe I'm just up early. _

I wish.

My heart nearly skipped a beat when I opened my eyes and was exposed to a foreign sight.

My heart nearly skipped two beats when I saw who was sleeping next to me.

My heart nearly stopped when I realized I was stark ass naked.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, back it the fuck up.

"AH!" I screamed so high pitched i sounded like a little boy whose balls hadn't dropped yet.

"The fuck?!" he groaned.

"Wake up! Tell me what happened right now!" I stuttered, my mind was racing a million words a second.

"What the fuck are you talking about!" he rolled over, finally making eye contact with me for the first time.

Even looking at me, he was still completely clueless.

"What does it look like I'm talking about!?" It doesn't take rocket science to figure it out.

After a few seconds of staring at me, his jaw almost hit the floor.

"Nick –"

"WHAT HAPPENED!" I cut him off, my jaw started to quiver, I always wanted my first time to be with someone I loved, my price charming. _He_ was definitely not my price charming.

Call me old school, but I actually wanted my first time to be _special._ I actually wanted to um, I don't know _remember _my first time.

He didn't say anything, he didn't even look me in the eyes, he wasn't even looking at me! His eyes were wondering the room, looking at everything, except for _me. _

"Last night," I started trying to keep myself from bawling, "Do you remember anything?"

It was silent for a little bit, and I was about to just walk out, but I realized I don't even know where my clothes are.

"Not this," he still didn't look at me.

WHY COULDN'T HE JUST LOOK AT ME. It was driving me insane.

"Look at me!" I know, I sound like a total bitch. Whatever.

He stayed quiet, and _still _didn't look at me.

He's slept around with half of Tulsa and he couldn't even handle this? I was getting really aggravated now, I want answers.

"Just get out so I could get dressed." I whispered so quiet it was almost inaudible.

He slipped on his jeans and walked out without a word.

He really knows how to treat a girl after sex huh.

I waited til' I heard footsteps go down the hallway before I actually got up to look for my clothes.

Hmmm, I guess my "dream" was actually not a dream.

Dallas Winston stole my innocence, something I'll never get back, the least he could do is talk to me. But no, I can't even get that can I?

* * *

I know girls lose their virginity all the time, half the girls it meant nothing to them anyway. But I couldn't control the tears, slowly slipping down my cheek. It actually meant something to me.

The part I hate the most is that I don't even remember it. I remember fooling around with Shepard – I shivered at the thought. Remind me to never drink again. I also remember Dally coming down later telling me about the three broads he slept with – that thought made me want to vomit. I was his _fourth _girl that night. He slept with three whole girls less than probably an hour before I did. I also remember not wanting to remember letting Tim go to third base with me, so I challenged Dallas to a drinking contest. I completely blacked out after that.

I heard the door knock two times in a row, pause for a second, and tap two more times. It was Soda's "secret knock" he made up so I knew it was him. I sniffled and tried to make it not as obvious that I hadn't just been crying but that was nearly impossible with Soda, he could tell that I was crying, even if he had no marks to prove it, I guess it's just a twin telepathy thing.

"Come in."

He didn't even come in right away. It was almost like time had frozen over, even if it was only like five seconds.

"Hey," I scooted over to the other side of my bed so he could sit down next to me.

But he didn't, he just sat at the foot of the bed.

"Hey," he mumbled. He looked like he had something on his mind. And I knew exactly what it was too.

"How mad is he?" I mentally slapped myself for asking, I didn't want to know the answer. But I was going to find out sooner or later, so I might as well get a heads up from Soda.

He let out a deep breath, "I don't even think mad covers it, he was beyond mad."

Last night I expected to go to Buck's for a few hours, and sneak back home before anyone got up. But it didn't work that way. I should have known my first time sneaking out would be a fail. But this was a two birds with one stone, type of fail.

I slumped back. I didn't even know what to say, I know what Soda was thinking right now, and I know he knows I know what he's thinking. It would be anybody's thought, especially a protective older brother's. I just didn't have the balls to actually say it.

It was silent. Not just normal silent, it was awkward silent. I know it was killing him that I wasn't saying anything, I tell him everything. But there is no way in hell I'm going to tell him about Dally, or even Tim. That's what Angela's for, although it'll be a little awkward telling her about her brother… I'd probably just leave that part out.

"Can you at least tell me where you went?"

I couldn't look him in the eyes, so I was just looking down at my hands. I couldn't look him in the eyes because I felt guilty. Maybe that's why Dally wasn't looking at me. Maybe Dally felt guilty. I laughed at my own thoughts. Yeah right, I don't even think Dallas has a conscience, let alone a guilty one.

"Buck's," I twiddled with my fingers.

I didn't even have to look at him to know what his face expression was like. He didn't say anything.

I crawled over to where he was and sat behind him.

I rested my chin on his shoulder, "Are you mad at me?"

He wrapped his arm around me and rubbed my back, just the way he did when mom and dad died.

"It's your life Nikki, you have control over your own life, do whatever you want, I just don't want you to get hurt, that's all."

I still don't know if that means he is or he isn't. So I just nodded my head. But, I guess he saw a weird look on my face and smiled.

"But no, I'm not, I would just rather you not sneak out like that and scare me, especially to a place like Buck's."

I could see the point he was making. Waking up to find your only sister not in her bed sleeping. I know if that happened to Pony, I would be freaking out. Well any of them really.

"Thanks Pepsi Cola," I wrapped my arms around him and gave him a tight hug.

"Anytime Nikki," he looked at me and shined his pearly white, "Just if I were you, I wouldn't tell Darry you went to Buck's when he asks."

I smiled, "Yeah that would just be the cherry on top wouldn't it."

"No. Cherries are good, and his reaction would not be good," he gave me a noogie.

I'm glad to have Sodapop as a brother, he's a one of a kind.

* * *

I thanked the lucky fucking stars that today was Thursday – Darry's late night at work. Although, I know it's going to happen eventually, I'd rather it be later than sooner. The whole gang was here – minus Darry and Dally. TwoBit was of course sitting on the floor in front of the TV, practically burning holes into Mickey Mouse with his eyes. Ponyboy was reading some book on the couch and Johnny was next to him watching the talking mouse. Soda and Steve were arm wrestling and I was making dinner. Originally Soda was going to make his Blue Spaghetti, but I wanted to make something. Maybe it'll lighten Darry up. Probably not, but it's worth a shot. Plus, blue spaghetti just looks weird, even if I know it tastes the same. Just something about makes me lose my appetite. I think it's the fact that the blue on the spaghetti makes it look like veins. So I decided to make momma's special barbeque chicken recipe. She loved feeding the whole gang, even though dad complained we didn't have the money for it, she had good intentions. She knew that Johnny, Dally, TwoBit, and Steve didn't exactly have a good home life, she treated them like they were her own sons.

Seven o'clock rolled around a lot fast than I was hoping it would. I saw the car lights pull up and the pit of my stomach completely dropped. I'm not going to lie, I'm scared of Darry, he's superman after all. Although, I'd never admit that to anyone. Steve, TwoBit, and Johnny don't know what happened earlier so they have no idea what's coming when that front door only inches away from them opens up, and an angry Darry with a red face and steam out of his ears, walks in. Okay, that was a little over exaggerated, but he's going to be beyond pissed. Me and Darry have never really gotten along to begin with, even before mom and dad died and Darry had to take the parenting role. Even when he just had to play the part as my older brother. Don't get me wrong, it's not like we hate each other, we've just never really been that close. We just don't understand each other I guess. Soda's always been the one that I'm close to. And when I say always, I mean always, even in my momma's stomach. The knot in my stomach got tighter and tighter as I heard the footsteps on the porch get closer and closer. I guess I'm just not used to getting in trouble, well actually I am, I just don't like it. Darry's grounding's are always way worse than dad's. Like once, I didn't clean my room, so he made me clean the whole house, and still be grounded for 5 days. Or like once Pony got an F on an Algebra test and he got grounded for a whole week. I know, it's ridicules.

When I saw that it wasn't Darry who walked through the door, it was like a big weight was lifted off my shoulders.

But when I saw that it was Dally who walked in, I immediately wished that it was Darry.

* * *

**AN: Tadaaa.! (: What do you guys think? Just click the little button below & let me know VVV :D Favs and Follows are always welcome as well ;)**


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